Every time I write something about you, I’ve always wondered what you’d think and feel if you knew.

Last night, I was on the verge of sending you my blog’s URL without telling you that it’s mine. Would you realize it was made solely for you?

Would you recognize the small talks we shared? There’s a chance, yes, but I bet, you won’t remember it the way I did. Every moments we shared together, just the two of us or with a couple of others, I have it memorized so I could replay it on my mind over and over again. That’s not enough, though. I have to write it here and tagged your name because I am hoping I can show it to you someday.

This blog.

For Three seconds...

This is something that had happened more than a month ago...

I was able to meet the guy I loved from five years ago. The topic of my every entry on my high school diary.. the one I always look to.. the one I always wanted to be with.. the one I've been loving until last year.. True, I am no longer head-over-heels in love with this guy. It's been for so long that I'm holding all my love for him that I finally decided to loosen the grip for something that I can no longer have.

I had stopped waiting.

I had stopped hoping.

I had stopped from always thinking about him...

But... I still have our memories written on my stocked notebooks at one corner of my room. I can still vividly recall all the things that happened between us. I know he still has a seat locked within my heart... Because I onced loved him... he is that important to me until now.

So when I finally got the chance to have a glimpse of him, even for a while... at that time, I don't know why I suddenly ran... I've got to look at him only for about 3 seconds. I hurriedly ran towards the doors of PRC, with no attempts of looking back. It was a sudden reflex on my part so I, too, don't know why exactly did I ran... After cooling down myself for quite a while, lots of I-should-have-done-this-and-that statements flooded onto my mind... As if I lost this chance that I should have grabbed...

I still love him, but not as strong as I loved him before--- it is something that I had found from my last year's diary entries..

Yes, maybe the love that I had for him is still there within me.  Maybe I am still missing this guy... But since I already had accepted the facts of the life that we are facing now, I have to locked all those feelings that had remained... Without knowing for sure if I'll be given the chance to let it go again or I can never will...

2 comments:

  1. Relate!! Is that Isko AGAIN?!?! hahahaha

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    Replies
    1. hindi.. hahha si hs to.. the-guy-i-waited-and-had-hold-onto-for-almost-four-or-five-years-but-i-had-decided-to-let-my-feelings-go-since-last-year..

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