Every time I write something about you, I’ve always wondered what you’d think and feel if you knew.

Last night, I was on the verge of sending you my blog’s URL without telling you that it’s mine. Would you realize it was made solely for you?

Would you recognize the small talks we shared? There’s a chance, yes, but I bet, you won’t remember it the way I did. Every moments we shared together, just the two of us or with a couple of others, I have it memorized so I could replay it on my mind over and over again. That’s not enough, though. I have to write it here and tagged your name because I am hoping I can show it to you someday.

This blog.
End of Lies.
2013.10.14
01:00AM

"Yung totoo... Sabihin mo na kasi."

"OK. Sige.. " Finally, I got tired of his persistence and repetitive times of asking just that single question. "Itext ko na lang sa'yo ok?"

"Pahirapan mo pa sarili mo, pwede mo namang sabihin ngayon na."

"Basta. Ibaba ko na toh. Tas text ko sa'yo. First name lang. Wag ka nang tatawag after. Itutulog ko na. Itulog mo na rin."

After then, I ended the call.

I bit my lips as I let out a deep sigh, for the last time... I'm ending up my lies.

I started to type my last message for tonight... it was just his name.

Then SENT.


That's it. I finally made it. I finally let my feelings reach him. I can't believe that I actually had managed to confess. I know I should have made it personally, or through phone call... but I chickened out.. But what matters now is that, sooner or later, I know he'll call again.

I'm right. My phone rang again. It was him.. Now what to do? I hurriedly bury my face on my pillow... I don't wanna hear his say. I don't wanna know what he thinks about my confession... Maybe he was too shock to know that it's him that I actually like.. I don't want to know.. Not now.

I just let the ring ends. After some time, he stopped calling. Then a text message arrived. From him.

At first I tried not to touch my phone, but in the end, I lost to my temptation. I read his text message.

'Matutulog na.:]] Goodnight. Pero mali hula ko :[[ Si *Crush-kun* yung hula ko uhmmm.. goodmornight'

After reading that I suddenly felt bad. kinda.



Maybe because it's not the reaction that I want to get from him. I know. I know. He's not interested with me, he has his eyes on somebody else, but still.. I was kinda hoping that even just a bit--... Stop it. I should stop thinking about this.

I know that there is always a consequence I need to pay in everything that I do.. Like now. After I finally managed to honestly pour out my feelings, I end up receiving just that plain reaction from him.. How cruel.. He's terrible.. But it can't be helped, I guess..

2 comments:

  1. i will .. hindi lang talaga kita matyempuhan na makakwentuhan

    ReplyDelete