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Every time I write something about you, I’ve always wondered what you’d think and feel if you knew.

Last night, I was on the verge of sending you my blog’s URL without telling you that it’s mine. Would you realize it was made solely for you?

Would you recognize the small talks we shared? There’s a chance, yes, but I bet, you won’t remember it the way I did. Every moments we shared together, just the two of us or with a couple of others, I have it memorized so I could replay it on my mind over and over again. That’s not enough, though. I have to write it here and tagged your name because I am hoping I can show it to you someday.

This blog.

Job Hunting?? *I can't think of a good title.*

       It’s already been 2 months when I started hunting jobs, But seriously, I actually don’t spent my whole time seeking for jobs. I had submitted my resumes to more than 10 companies already. Not that I wasn't able to passed with their qualifications, I actually received calls from them, giving me schedules for interview. But I always ended up not going to most of them. Most of them are calls from companies in Manila. I am residing here at La Union and when I think that I have to go there, I would regret having submitted my resume in the first place. Ah~ I remember that there is one interview that I went to. I know that I can easily get the job, but I don’t know what happened, I failed.. I know I don’t like the job after all and I shouldn't have gone there..I know my capabilities and I know that there are jobs wherein I can be able to fully utilize my abilities.. and at the same time enjoy myself.. In that way I can be productive, right?.
        Silly me.. And I’m being choosy again, I know.. it is an attitude of mine that I also hated. I wanted to work on other stuffs that are not related to the course that I took. I even took the National Licensure Exam, and was able to passed it… but I don’t want to work as a nurse.. People would say that I wasted my four years in collage.. They would even say that I should have taken “this” and “that” because you are great in stuffs like “this” and “that”. Although I know I’m capable of excelling in various areas, I want to be known for doing the things that I enjoyed to do... It doesn't matter if I will be recognized or not, for me, that’s not something that matters. I had something I want to achieve. I know what that thing is. And I am determined to reach that. I don’t want to take the paths that are already placed in front of me because they won’t lead me to my desired destination. I will be creating my own path… ~
       I’m sounds like I’m very capable, right? I’m beginning to think that maybe I should try to lower down my confidence a little. This might be the reason why until now, I still doesn't made any progress.. And because of this, God won’t let me move onward.. I’m trying to reflect on these thoughts.. But then again, I would think of my dream again.. I really wanted to be like that, I really wanted to work on those kinds of stuffs.. God that is what I really want.. Even if you won’t give me a chance to achieve it now, I will still continue finding my way..until You will get tired of my stubbornness.. You might eventually give it to me… I realized that this dream that I had now is something that I don’t want to give up after all... Maan fighting~

*lol.. I don’t want to reread this entire thing to make some corrections so if I somewhat messed up with my grammar and though organization.. gomen~.. Jaa~ oyasumi…and this is my first post with regards to my life outside fandom right?..just saying.. sweet dreams.. *


  1. post undergrad crisis... and i thought i'm the only one experiencing it.

    "I don’t want to take the paths that are already placed in front of me because they won’t lead me to my desired destination. I will be creating my own path… " --> i just <3 this part!

    i envy you because you're doing something well, as for my case... teehee

    more power maan-chan!

  2. Arigatou Odie, I appreciate every comment you posted here.. ♥ the part you quoted was somnething that I wrote on my note the day I passed the board.. I'm glad that I was able to make it into a lengthy post :D

    let's continue doing our best..